How many times have we experienced this ladies…..
The Chase
As I write of my own tales of online dating and speaking with other women – we all seem to have very similar experiences. Many of which come down to “The Chase.” I am finding that women I talk with have many men pursuing them. These men email, call and they seem to be having great conversations. These men give all the indications and signs that they are interested. However, where it seems to fail is when it comes to next steps. Is this the big “a-ha” moment. It’s no secret that men like the chase but when it comes down to it women are the complete opposite. This would be a great explanation to why both sexes have difficulties with online dating.
I know, not only from my personal experience but from other women as well, we can’t be bother wasting our time. While we do like the beginning stages of the chase, at some point we are ready to see if this is going somewhere or not. As in my post on The Yellow Cyclist, at some point I don’t want to talk to you anymore. It’s time for a face to face. I know what I want and what I am interested in and quite frankly I don’t have the patience to wait until men are done playing the chasing game. Maybe this is wrong on my part, but the last thing I want to do is wait around for a guy to ask me out. I have no desire for a guy to chat me up, act like he is all interested, get my hopes up that this may actually be a decent man and then he never closes the deal. Plus, if a guy needs to play these chasing games can you imagine what a relationship would be like? I can tell you exactly – you would never know where you stand. He would call you and be all into you one day and then ignore you the next. I’ve changed my mind – men that like to chase – continue to do so please! We just ask you make it obvious this is your intention. Then we won’t waste our time!
Thank you to thecynicalromantic85 for inspiring this post!
Why Do Men Do that? Wednesday 6/12/13
I am amazed! This is such a well written article about how there are no real men left! And it’s written by Paul Hudson – yes that’s right A MAN!! Seems like a real one at that.
I think Paul has gotten it right and explains why so many of us single ladies are going through such crap with dating which has led to us pouring out our souls on blogs! Enjoy ladies and those that are “real” men!
The Chiropractor
My good friend has the best intentions on trying to find a good man for me. I really applaud her efforts. The last guy (and I think she has given up now) she tried to connect me with was her chiropractor. She thought we would get along well. He had a video of himself on his site and I thought “not bad”, “good career”, “it doesn’t hurt to meet up”. My friend gave him my phone number to call me.
The chiropractor called me one night. We talked for almost an hour. Great conversation. We had a lot in common. He was very easy to talk with. At one point, my age comes up and we discover he is a year older than me. SILENCE…….. I am not joking here. He practically hung up on me. That was it. He was like nice talking to you and bye bye. SERIOUSLY? How bad is that?????
You guessed it – never heard from him again. I assume he wanted some young thing that would be a baby making machine. Amazing huh? His loss!
The Yellow Cyclist
A guy reached out to me on Match.com and I was pleasantly surprised as he was attractive, fit and my age. WOW! That is a rarity. It seemed we had quite a bit in common too. We emailed back and forth a few times and exchanged phone numbers. He called me and we had a great conversation. Then he gave me his name to Facebook friend him as he said he was an open book with nothing to hide. I debated friending him because I wasn’t sure I wanted him to be privy to my life….but I don’t put anything on Facebook that I wouldn’t be comfortable with the whole world seeing. That is a good rule to follow! I decided to friend him because I figured this was a good way to see if his pictures were accurate and if there was any weirdness!
He was really into his bike and it was bright yellow. He actually looked cool with it in pictures on his Facebook page. So we chatted again the next day – he called me. We talked for about an hour. Again – a lot in common and the conversation flowed easily. After we had been chatting, I made the move to get together and meet up for a drink. It was a Saturday so I figured it would be a good opportunity to do so. Well now this is stupid on my part to apply logic to situations. He got all weird and said he thought he would be working late but he said going out later for a drink would probably work.
Now can you guess what happened next? YUP – nothing – totally got blown off. Never heard from him again. What???? I know this just shocks you. He pursued me and talked to me for a couple hours. He also Facebook friended me. WTF?
So what is the point of the chase? Or is that what he liked – the chasing. If he wasn’t interested why did he waste so much of not only his time but mine. Are you kidding me here?
PATHETIC!
Why Do Men Do That? Wednesdays 5/22/13
Direct quote from my friend who continues to have bad first dates!!!!
“I’m not sure which was the worst part of yesterday’s Match.com date. Was it that he described his “studio apartment” as a 10″ x 12″ room in a Victorian house? Or was it his 1993 rusted filthy Toyota with paint peeling that he bragged was “completely paid off”. Or was it that he told me he liked to use whipped cream during sex, and that he at times had sent pics of his penis to women who wrote him on Match.com? Or was it that the place I picked for our meeting place he considered way too upscale and said he didn’t go to those types of places. or was it….hmmmmm….GAH. This is why I am still single.”
Seriously??? What are these men thinking? And the frustrating part is they put on such a good act in emails and initial conversations so you are duped into thinking they are NORMAL!
ARE THERE ANY GOOD MEN LEFT?
Spring is in the air and I AM SINGLE
Well put….
Mr. Pees A lot
Since I have had a recent lack luster dating life, I thought I would continue to share some crazy tales of my friends dating adventures. Plus it’s reassuring that I am not the only that seems to encounter these maladjusted men who have no business pursuing women!
My friend lives in Queens, NY and met a guy from Long Island. He seemed to have a good career and be financially stable. Leading up to their first date they texted and talked to each other a lot. Their first date was meeting up for drinks (yeah, she is following my dating rules!). They both were enjoying themselves at drinks, the touchy-feely flirting like they had knew each other for a long time – very comfortable. They decided to continue with the date and had dinner. He also brought her a box of chocolates. How sweet! Dinner was great and they both seemed very much attracted to each other. He even called to let her know he got home okay.
The next week was that blissful time when two people just meet and really like each other. They were texting each other several times a day. He was calling her and complimenting her continuously. So they planned another outing for Sunday. The plan was to go out to Wineries on Long Island, spend the day together and then go back to his place for a BBQ. Very romantic……or so she thought. Not so much….
After he picks her up, he realizes he has to pee so they stop at his house. Apparently his house has some construction going on and it was a mess. Just odd that you wouldn’t clean up if you are bringing a woman over. Just saying…… The drive was going well but then he didn’t know how to use his GPS and they were passing wineries but he wasn’t stopping. It was a long drive, so my friends was like “let’s stop at one of the places we just passed.” He ends up getting lost and see an upcoming winery so they stop and have a glass and then he wants to take off right away. So my friend is thinking okay – another winery. Right? That is the logical thing. If you make the drive all the way out there you usually stop at a few No, he wants to go back to his place. But….he has to pee again so he stops on the side of the road to go. Nice…..
He turns on the Knicks game in the car, my friend isn’t a big fan and they go to his house. He cooks hot dogs and hamburgers. Yippee!!! And his kitchen is under renovation so everything is a mess. So romantic! Then he turns on Golf. So at this point my friend is like I’m tired and asked him to take her home. On the way back she got downgraded from the Mercedes to the Hundayi.
After driving in silence for awhile, my friends asks if something happen or did she misunderstand? He was said it was obvious they had no chemistry. My friend is thinking where did this nice guy who got my chocolates and was flirting with me on my first date and texting and talking to all week go? Is he bipolar? This guy did a total 180. He gave my friend all the right signals.
How are we suppose to figure these guys out? And what’s with all the peeing?
Why Do Men Do That? Wednesdays 5/8/13
A friend of mine was at a major PGA golf tournement. Loaded with men of course! One would think this would be the perfect opportunity to meet a man right? My friend is attractive and had plenty of men flirting with her over the course of the tournament. One guy in particular was following her around and kept talking to her yet never made the next move. My friend kept making comments where she liked to golf in the area, where she hung out – NOTHING!!! She could not get this guy to offer up any information.
This guy was also with a couple buddies and my friend was looking at them like “does this guy get it?” Apparently his friends were also acknowledging that he didn’t have a clue. So, this guy never asked my friend out or for a phone number or anything. But – he kept following her around and flirting with her. Insane? Not not insane, I guarantee he was married. Why else would men do that????
WOW Dating is just rough!
Yes, this site is about men who behave badly when dating, but in all fairness women do have bad behavior as well. I need to share one of my male friend’s story because it is just really sad.
My friend was seeing this women for about 10 months and broke it off in December of last years – not sure why. They started dating again last few weeks and things seems to be going nicely. I was going to paraphrase – but honestly his email to me is really the best way to hear his story:
“Things are going well I guess….I spent a few hours over her house on Sun night….after work yesterday we hung out and I spent the night. (I rarely ever stay over ANYONE’S house, just my thing) I’m not seeing her till Sun…(we both have things to do till then) I left something over there that I need before Sun. Sooo…..
I stopped over before I went for a walk. This guy answered the door with his shirt off and is looking at me like I just took a shit on the hood of his car!!!
As he is asking me “what the fuck do you want??” my “special lady friend” (don’t know what else to call her) is coming to the door with NO pants on!?!?!?!?! (I know this cuz I can see her thong!!!). 
WTF!!!! REALLY????
As I pick up my stuff I’d left…the poor guy is looking at her wondering who he’s fucking!! She followed me to my car….(still in the thong) and tells me this was my idea….!!!!! REALLY!?!?!?!?!
Cuz I told her I’m going walking with a friend who happened to be female.
She must of thought we were going in thongs!!! Cuz she’s from Brazil and that happens all the time over there!!! WTF!!! :/”
How bad is that? Better he knows now of her insecurities but I thought this story need to be heard. DON’T DO THIS LADIES!
anygoodmenleft 