Who Is Your Type?

You know when someone tries to fix you up with a man, but they are not your type?  Go with your gut.   A good friend of mine is always on the lookout for potential dates for me.  She worked with a guy who she liked and thought we may be a good fit, although interestingly enough her boyfriend did not think we were a match.  This guy was on her Facebook so I checked him out.  He was totally not my type at all, but I wanted to expand my horizons being the mature adult that I am, and said okay to her making the connection for us.

This guy and I emailed a few times and talked on the phone.  He seemed nice enough and lived near me so we decided to meet up at the local Starbucks.   I knew this guy was short – which is fine, but I am only 5’3” and he seemed shorter.   Again, I said to myself that I need to not worry about the superficial stuff and look at what is on the inside of the person.   We talked for awhile about lots of stuff – not sure what exactly because he spoke so softly for an ex-military guy that I could barely hear him.  At some point who knows what we were really talking about.

He asked to go out again and I said yes, being open-minded.  Plus, I get hassled by a couple friends to give it at least 3 dates.   So we went out again on a second date and he was trying to make some moves – tried to hold my hand – I innocently stayed far enough away so it was like I had no idea what he was trying to do.   I just wasn’t feeling it.  Super nice guy – I think??? Really not sure because as he was sitting across from dinner I could not hear a word he was saying.  The restaurant was quiet too.   The guy was barely audible.   Plus again, just physically not my type.

I kind of got roped into a third date as he bought tickets to a concert at a local hotel.  I was totally not into it but said yes.  WHY WHY WHY did I do that??????  By the third date I knew it wasn’t going anywhere.  I felt bad but there was just no attraction.   Like I said, he seemed like a generally nice guy but he was not that big of a communicator.   At our third date, the band was okay, and it was long and I just wanted to go home.   But, I was polite because it’s not his fault I don’t feel the connection.     After that night I was honest and told him I didn’t think there was a connection.  This guy also happens to be on match.com.  I see that he continues to view my profile every once in awhile.  Kind of weird.

Lesson here: you can be open-minded, but you know the type of man that you are attracted to and what is in your comfort zone.  Go with your gut!

Mr. Kansas

I forgot about a first date I had, but something reminded me of this guy the other day.   So, it was one of the first times I was back out on the market.  I found this guy on eharmony.com.   This guy was not my type physically at all.  But he was very good looking.  He was about 6’6” – and let me remind you I am only 5’3”.  He had quite a few pictures of himself – super buff.   Actually, his pictures were a little intimidating.  Mr. Kansas was a big, muscular blonde guy from the Midwest.   Well….so I thought.

I made the biggest mistake and got all excited for this date.  I wore a great dress, sexy shoes….even co-workers complimented me as I seem to have a sparkle in my eye.  I met Mr. Kansas after work at a local restaurant that had a nice bar area.  One of my rules, meet someplace that has a bar and good food so you can eat if it is going well.

I walked in and there was Mr. Kansas.  He was certainly tall and in decent shape, but those pictures were clearly 10 years old.   I was so disappointed once again.   He looked nothing like his photos and had aged incredibly.  He was only a couple years older than me but felt like I was with my dad.  Plus, he reminded me of an older professor I had at the time, who is not very attractive, and I just couldn’t get that image out of my head.

Mr. Kansas was a super nice guy.  He was rather sweet.  This was his first time online dating in about 20 years so he was clueless.   We ended up ordering dinner and I actually gave him some dating advice.   We had a nice time but there was no spark and I think he wasn’t ready to date anyway.

Lesson to this story……DO NOT get excited for a first date.  DO NOT have high expectations.  If you take this advice, hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised instead of extremely disappointed.

The Bigot

Yes….that’s correct – The Bigot. Unbelievable. So a guy contacted me through PlentyofFish.com. He was actually good looking, seemed like a professional and pictures were recent. His profile seemed “normal” and he said he loved his career and that it was very intriguing.

After emailing a couple times back and forth I asked him what he did for a living. The bigot said he doesn’t share that until he knows someone better. So now I am like – seriously. Is this a joke? What is he a CIA agent? I pretty much thought forget it with this guy because I could barely get a conversation going. But then he asked to meet for a drink because he much rather talk in person than via email or over the phone. I was open to this because maybe this guy just doesn’t like to email a lot.

We meet at the bar at a local restaurant. As I have stated before – good plan to meet at the bar where you can also eat. Therefore if goes well you can stay or you can run. LOL

So we meet up and he looked the same like his pictures but he hid the gut well. On his profile he looked very put together and now he kind of looked really sloppy. But I decided to keep an open mind. We sit at the bar, I order wine and he orders a Bloody Mary which he sucks down in about 5 minutes. Interesting….

He came across very abrupt and crass. Apparently he is a “federal agent”. Whatever, like he really needed to be so secret about that. Then as we started talking and getting to know each other – and he was not shy – this is what I discovered about him:

– A racist
– Anti-women
– Very politically conservative (reminder, I am not)
– Issues with the company I work for (no one in the world does)
– Anti-gay/lesbian

Do I need to go on? OMG I was totally dying. We even covered 9/11 and he insulted me talking about those liberal New Yorkers and New Jersey people. Do you know how many friends and family are from NY and NJ?

So here I am looking around the bar hoping no one can hear this conversation and hoping I don’t know anyone. I was M-O-R-T-I-F-I-E-D and appalled. And trust me I did not take what he was saying lightly. I didn’t argue with him but I certainly disagreed and voiced my opinion. No wonder this guy was divorced.

Let’s just say – yeah there was no second date!

Welcome!

Hello! I haven’t updated my blog in a while as I was waiting to showcase my new look. My designer did a wonderful job!!!

Look for posts to starting coming again as well as a new feature on Wednesdays – Why do men do that? which will feature my opinions on the silly things men do when dating.

If you are new to this blog, I recommend that you go to the archives and start from the beginning. It is much more entertaining that way.

I hope you enjoy and continue to follow me!

Mr. Dropped Off the Face of the Earth

Things seem to be picking up on match.com since Labor Day weekend.  Nothing to die for but at least some interest.   This one guy emailed me and I thought he was attractive and liked his profile and we started to email.

I found out how he had a first date where the woman lied about her age and proposed marriage so she could stay in the country.  DAMN!!! I was like – “you win” that is definitely the first worst date ever.  Amazing huh?

We emailed for a couple of days and I gave him my cell and asked if he wanted to chat to get to know each other better. In my email with my number I said, I won’t be home tomorrow night (Tue), but will be available on Wednesday.

So Tuesday morning he texts me – how are you doing? etc.  and we text a few times.  He texts me again later that day.  I was out on Tuesday night but I got another text from him Wednesday morning – a few texts back and forth. Nothing major just nice chit chat and we both said how we were looking forward to speaking that night.

Wednesday night comes and NOTHING.  So I am like – was I suppose to call? I sent a quick text asking how his day was and no response.  So I am like seriously????  Obviously I have no emotional attachment here but more irritated.  He was the one who sought me out.  I am just so tired of this – why bother?  And I didn’t say anything in my texts to freak him out.  We were just sending polite messages back and forth.

This is when I want to throw up my hands and say “I’m done and just going to be single for the rest of my life”.  It is so draining.   Why waste my time?  Is this really the caliber of men that are out there.

ARE THERE ANY GOOD MEN LEFT?????

Mr. Outdoor Guy

Wow, when you think that it can’t get any more bazaar……..

I actually was interested in one of my daily matches, and apparently so was this guy.  We will call him OG for Outdoor Guy.  OG reached out to me via email on match.com.  We corresponded, led to talking and met up for a first date on Sunday night over Labor Day Weekend.

We met up in a quaint little downtown area.  He actually did look like his pictures – that’s a first! OG actually complimented me that I looked even better in person.  I will take that!  🙂  We got some coffee and talked for a few hours.  OG and I were very compatible – on the same page with religion, politics, dating and relationships.  Yes we covered a lot! The conversation was super easy and relaxed.  We ate a nice dinner – he actually took my hand.  I was surprised.  I didn’t feel sparks quite yet…but that was fine.  The men I usually feel a strong physical attraction for end up not working out so I was looking forward to seeing if a spark would ensue.

OG admitted that he joined match.com because he was interested in my profile.  Not sure if that is true but he seemed genuine.  He also indicated how comfortable he was with me.  All in all, a very nice night.  OG later texted me and asked if I wanted to meet up with him the next morning for a bike ride on the trail.  I agreed and thought it would be nice.

The next morning, we enjoyed a great bike ride. Easy, fun conversation.  I even joked about how sweaty I was (it was hot and humid) and that this is why I would never do this on a first date.  But he continued to compliment me.  We stopped for lunch and again another great date.

I texted him later that night and we chatted a bit.  Everything seemed to be going well…….or so I thought!

Two days later, I just sent him a quick text to say hello.  A few responses back and forth and OG asked if I would be home later that night to talk.  Sure would be.   I get home from the gym and get a text:

“Hey. I hope this isn’t awkward in text but I would really like to get your helmet to you. (I left it in his car because it was too hot). I didn’t want to tell you while you are at work but I don’t know if I want to continue.  I just don’t know if I am cut out right now for this dating thing.  I will probably deactivate my account soon”

My response: “No worries. I understand.  Don’t worry about the helmet.  It was cheap and I need a new one.  I enjoyed your company.  It was nice to know you.”

OG:  “Are you sure.  I don’t mind meeting you at the coffee shop.  I can be there tonight”

Me: “Really no big deal. Thanks though”

OG: “K. Thanks”

Seriously a text???? Luckily I was not head over heels for OG….but damn!  So of course I have to analyze the two dates because I am thinking to myself “Really…did I scare this guy off already?”  Guess what? NO I DID NOT!!!!  I was easy to talk to, carefree….didn’t talk anything about commitment.  Just great conversation.

This really deserves an OMG.  This is the caliber of men that are out there.  First off – I am not sure that he really isn’t ready because one would say I am deactivating my account….not I will probably do so soon.  So if you are not into me – just say so.  Geez……don’t make up some excuse.  And if OG really is recovering from a recent breakup (which I didn’t get that impression) then why the hell are you online!  It’s bad enough I am hardly getting any action online….don’t need to be a “test date” for you!

And get some balls – don’t do that over text.  Whatever…NEXT!

I was the bad date!!!!

I had a first date with a guy on Friday night.  I was really looking forward to it as we got along well on the phone and I was attracted to him.  He is also of Italian heritage as myself and wanted to take me to his favorite Italian restaurant.  I will refer to him as Mr. Italian.  As I was driving over, I started to feel not quite myself but figured it would pass.

As I met Mr. Italian and gave him a hug, his cologne was quite strong and gave my stomach a bit of a queasy feeling.   We chit chatted for a few minutes and I liked him so far.  We sat at a table and ordered and was hoping I would feel better soon.  After a bit, I started to get the cold sweats.  My eyes are now darting around the small restaurant for the bathroom.  I am thinking to myself this cannot be happening.  And Mr. Italian knows everyone in this restaurant.  As soon as our server brings us the food – I said we have to get this to go.  I told Mr. Italian that I just didn’t feel well.  He got up went to the back kitchen to get it wrapped.

At this point I really thought I was going to throw up all over.  I headed to the bathroom – fortunately it was a single and no one was occupying it.  I didn’t throw up but it came out the other end which was good enough to last me until I could make the 20 minute drive home.  I kept apologizing to Mr. Italian and said I understood if he didn’t want to try this again, but that I would like to.  Anyway – I bolted as he walked me to my car.  I WAS SO EMBARRASSED!

I barely made it home and I didn’t know which end it was coming out first (sorry to be so graphic).  Mr. Italian called me to make sure I was okay.  I didn’t answer because I couldn’t talk.  I texted him a couple of times.  I texted that this is a good story for his friends.  He replied that he wasn’t like that.  I replied that it was sure going to be a good story for MY friends.

By the next morning, I was okay just weak and exhausted. A couple of friends at work had this earlier in the week.  So I am not sure if I had a virus or ate something.  I am thinking I ate something bad because it went through my system so quickly.  Only bonus was I dropped 3 pounds over night!

I called Mr. Italian to apologize again.  He was cool with it.  He said he would like to get together again but was going to be out of town this week.  I guess we shall see if we do go out again.  If this should turn into something, it will sure be a funny story to tell.

UGH can you believe this happened? Seriously?

Magically Delicious

Starting to get back to real time as my previous posts were getting everyone up to speed.  This is about my first date (in August) since I went back on match.com in June!   How sad….

This guy contacted me on match. Originally from Dublin – so we shall call him Dublin.  Looked attractive…liked what he had to say.  He is 47 – so only 6 years older.  All good.

We emailed a few times…chatted on the phone– we decide to meet up for drinks.  As predicted…..Dublin looked much older than his pictures.  Still an attractive man, but just much older looking than 47.   We had drinks and some appetizers – spent about 3+ hours together.  Had a wonderful time and enjoyed the conversation.  Not sure there is a spark there as his appearance threw me off as it wasn’t what I was expecting and I felt like I was with an uncle. But enjoyed Dublin’s company and was willing to give him another shot.

Dublin texted me that he had fun and wanted to go out again.  Second date was more casual and met for dinner.  Unfortunately he still looked much older to me.  But what I really got out of our second date together is Dublin is too mature for me.  And for me to say this must mean something because I am very mature and more reserved.  I just couldn’t picture having any silly stupid moments together.

Another thing that I didn’t care for is he talked about himself and his job a lot.  It was interesting as he is an ER Nurse….but dude ask me some stuff.  He hardly asked me anything.  Never asked me any details about my job.  So I wasn’t really comfortable with the “me me me” thing.  It wasn’t that he came off arrogant and the accent was great – I knew this wasn’t going anywhere.

Dublin was the gentleman and paid again for dinner.  Clearly he felt the same way as I didn’t hear back.  That works for me.  NEXT…..hopefully there is as next at this rate I am not sure!

First Date

After Chef I had a few dates from match.com.   I made such a rookie mistake on the first date. I had spoken to the guy a few times on the phone.  He was attractive to me in his photos.  We decided to meet up for a night out. OMG – read this very carefully if you are just starting to date.

During that day I hosted a bridal shower for my friend, so my close friends were there to prep me for my date that night.  New outfit – was looking good sista! LOL

Here I am like a giddy school girl all excited for my first date in years!  We met up at one of the hotel bars at Universal Orlando.   I walk to the bar and when I see my date I really just wanted to keep walking or turn around.  Clearly his pictures were from 10 years ago and I think I was taller than him (I’m only 5’3”).  He looked like a flashy used cars salesman and had this big old chunky ring.  Oy Vey  I see an exit to the right and I see one to the left and oh crap….I have been spotted.  😦

So we exchange pleasantries and ordered a drink.  If I remember correctly, the conversation was okay but here it was my first date in years and I was so excited but what was in front of me was not what I expected. Such a let down.  After an hour at the bar we went to dinner.  I was not attracted at all and knew there was not going to be a second date so I only ordered a salad. I wanted to go home from the minute I walked in so now that dinner was over I was sooooo ready to go.  Crap…I am too inexperienced…how do I get out of this? I was trapped.  We walked around and this guy wanted to take a boat ride to the City Walk area.  Crap…seriously?  On the boat ride he is trying to make the moves and puts his arm around me.  I was sooo uncomfortable.  Not sure what happened after that as I tried to block it from memory, but I just remembered it was a 5 hour date that lasted about 4.5 hours too long.  What a waste of a new outfit!

Lesson: Only meet for a drink or coffee on the first date.  If it doesn’t go well you can bail!